Whether your healthy relationship needs a tune up or your relationship is in crisis, couples counseling might be of some benefit. Conflict and power struggles are completely normal for a relationship and generally indicate the need to make the shift from an “unconscious relationship” to a more “conscious relationship.” If you are caught in a downward spiral of escalating conflict or the temperature in the relationship has gone from hot to icy cold, it is time to agree on a cease-fire to the hostilities or cold war silence and try some diplomacy. Like it or not, you need each other and the emotional attachment you have with one another is actually what you are fighting for; unfortunately, your approach is likely making it worse. Stress activated defenses that can be harmful to the relationship.

Drawing on the work of Dr. Harville Hendrix  and Dr. Sue Johnson my approach is to help a couple identify the dynamics taking place in their relationship and restore a greater sense of emotional safety and connection through improved communication.

While the ideal is that both members of the couple want counseling, it can still be very possible for an individual to bring significant change to the relationship by making changes in his or her approach to the relationship. These changes often motivate the reluctant partner to give counseling a try.

Getting The Love You Want: A Guide for Couples by Harville Hendrix
Weekend Workshops based on Getting The Love You Want
Hold Me Tight: Seven Conversations for a Lifetime of Love by Sue Johnson